Alarm Clock Meet Tayuya
by ImpliedParanoia
Summary: Just a Oneshot With a NarutoxTayuya pairing. based on the same theme as the other alarm clock stories. M for Swearing and very minor sexual themes.


**A/N Alright im still alive…barely…anyways I wrote this for two purposes. One was to get me back into writing again and the second was because I seem to have taken a liking to NarutoXTayuya parings…And seeing as ive basically read all of the ones I could find on ff I decided to write my own.**

**Let me know what you think.**

**Alarm Clock…Meet Tayuya**

Naruto stared dumbfounded at the charred remains that had been his apartment mere hours earlier. He had only been gone twenty minutes when an Anbu had appeared out of nowhere and grabbed him. Smoke continued to billow from the wreckage when Tsunade grabbed him and started to shake him.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to play with seals in enclosed spaces!"

"B-but…" Tsunade dropped him on his ass and placed her hands on her hips.

"NO BUTS! Do you know how much paperwork I'm gonna have to do now because of you!" Tsunade stalked off rather heatedly after that. Naruto just sat there.

"But I wasn't even here…." He continued to sit there until an Anbu came up behind him and tapped his shoulder. Naruto absently looked behind him.

"We found the cause of the fire." Naruto perked up as soon as he heard that.

"Great! Now you can tell baa-chan it wasn't my fault." The Anbu slightly shook their head before pointing off to his left. Naruto followed the man's finger before his eyes rested on a soot covered girl who was currently trying to blend in with the wall behind her.

"Tayuya?" She squeaked before trying to look for an escape. Naruto got up off the ground and slowly made his way over to her "Tayuya, what happened?" Said person fidgeted and immediately found the ground to be very interesting. She heard him say her name one more time and she sighed.

"Well…"

**XXXXXXXXX**

Tayuya sighed in content as she sprawled herself over the large bed. Naruto had already left and as much as she loved snuggling into his side she couldn't help but love the moments were she could just stretch out like this. She sighed again as she buried her head between the blankets and the pillow.

"_This is the life!" _She hated waking up at the crack of dawn like her hyperactive boyfriend. In fact she hated mornings altogether, taking advantage of every opportunity to sleep until at least noon. She rolled around on the bed a little bit trying to cover herself in as much of the blankets as she could. _"Fuck being a shinobi! Ill marry the blonde in a heartbeat if it means I can relax like this for the rest of my life!" _Tayuya nuzzled the blankets and started drifting off. _"I wonder what he would say to that?" _She giggled to herself and nuzzled the blankets once more. _"Worry about that later…"_

**XX**

As Tayuya lay peacefully on the bed there was a dark evil at work ready to rouse her from her rest. A small diabolical object sat on the nightstand emitting a soft green light as it slowly counted down to its goal. The green light shifted as it changed. Only a minute left and its purpose would be fulfilled.

Thirty seconds left and Tayuya had just fallen into a peaceful slumber.

Fifteen seconds left and a small bit of drool escaped the side of her mouth.

Only five seconds remained and the diabolical contraption seemed to laugh at its unsuspecting victim.

Time had just run out for the redhead. With a mighty roar it fulfilled its purpose.

**XX**

!

The high pitched ringing caused Tayuya to fly out of the bed at high speeds and collide with the floor still wrapped in the blankets.

"What the fuck is that shit!" Her eyes immediately focused in on the small object on the nightstand. "What the fuck, why did the dipshit get a fucking alarm clock?" She growled at the offending device and immediately set to silence it. Of course things would have turned out better if she wasn't cocooned in the blankets. "Damnit, how fucking hard is it to get out of these fucking things!" Tayuya growled again and tore through the offending material. "oh well, shithead will just have to get more. Her attention immediately went back to the clock on the nightstand. "Alright you piece of shit were the fuck is your off switch!" She found it in the back of the clock. Grinning at the thought of peace and quiet she flipped it.

Nothing happened.

"Damnit! Turn the fuck off!" Tayuya flipped the switch several times before she started to bash it repeatedly on the floor. She was starting to get frustrated when the clock started getting louder. With a loud cry of frustration she ripped it from the wall and chucked it across the room. Silence washed over the room. Tayuya gave a sigh of relief and proceeded to try to cover herself up in the mangled remains of the blankets. She closed her eyes and snuggled deeper into the remains. "Floors actually pretty comfortable…"

!

Tayuya's eyes popped open and she stared in disbelief at the clock now lying in a broken heap.

"You're still alive!" She grabbed a kunai from the nightstand and flung herself at the evil being.

"DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!" She stabbed it repeatedly until it was nothing but tiny plastic bits and yet it still gave off a loud wail. "WHY WONT YOU DIE!" She repeatedly smashed the remains of the clock under her foot but it only served to get a couple of plastic shards lodged in her. "GOD DAMNIT YOU FUCKING ANAL LEAKING PIECE OF SHIT! I WILL KILL YOU!" Tayuya cackled maniacally as she started to form hand seals. "SURVIVE THIS MOTHER FUCKER! KATON KARYUU ENDON! The blaze from the technique immediately incinerated the remnants of the infernal device leaving the room once more to be bathed in silence. "Final-fucking-ly." She moved to return to the bed when she heard a small crackle behind her. When she turned to look she realized that not only had the fire killed the clock but it had also set fire to a good portion of the bedroom. Tayuya stared with wide eyes.

"Oops…"

**XXXXXXXXX**

"So let me get this straight. You set fire to our apartment just to get rid of the ala- wait a second. When the fuck did we get an alarm clock?"

"How the fuck should I know shithead! I thought you bought it!"

"Me? I don't even need one, why would I get one?"

"Fuck if I know." Naruto sighed and massaged his temples. Tayuya sighed when she saw the frustration on his face. She shuffled over to him. Naruto opened his eyes when he felt something soft press against his lips. He grumbled something about redheads before return the kiss from Tayuya.

"You're lucky I care about you Tayuya…make it almost impossible to get mad at you. Tayuya giggled.

"Love you too Blondie!" Neither one of them noticed when Kakashi poofed next to them.

"Hey Naruto I need to get my…What happened here?" Naruto was about to respond when tayuya beat him too it.

"Bad Wiring." Kakashi nodded thoughtfully.

"Hmm…should probably get mine checked in that case…well it looks like I'm gonna have to buy another alarm clock by the looks of things." Kakashi's gaze on the remains made him unable to see the stiff posture of Tayuya as she slowly made her way over to the Cyclops.

"What. Did. You. Say?"

"Huh, oh. I accidently left my alarm clock over here after I failed another team of gennin. It's probably destroyed now though…" He barely dodged the punch from tayuya.

"I'll kill you!" Kakashi saw the danger he was in and immediately sunshined to a safer place. Naruto grabbed his girlfriend before she could take off and search for the jounin.

"Tayuya calm down."

"NO! IM GONNA CASTRATE HIM FOR THIS!"

"You can't castrate Kakashi-sensei, I have a mission with his later today." Tayuya stopped trying to break free and turned towards the blonde.

"Naruto. If you let me go right now I will fucking rock your world when I get back." Naruto hesitated at that and a small drop of blood slid from his nose.

"I don't know tayuya…"

"Fine. Not only will I rock your fucking world so hard that you won't be able to get it up for a week, Ill fucking do anything that you ask of me for the next year." Naruto almost lost his bearing right there.

"Ok, but on one condition."

"Name it."

"You have to marry me." Naruto was immediately glomped by tayuya who kissed him as hard as she could.

"Deal! Now go find somewhere we can stay for a few days and I'll be back soon." Naruto could only nod dumbly as she took off into the distance. A hand landed on his shoulder and Naruto saw Jiraiya standing there.

"You know gaki…you basically just traded Kakashi's manhood for sex…" Jiraiya started to tear up. "I'm so proud of you my boy!" Naruto sighed and shrugged out of the man's reach.

"Hey it got me married didn't it?"

"True…So Naruto… how about you and your fiancé star in-"

"Ero-sennin, you finish that sentence and ill show the video of last year's Christmas party to Tsunade." Jiraiya paled and immediately back away.

"On second thought enjoy the honeymoon gaki! I need to go…do…" A loud girlish shriek sounded from across the village. Jiraiya immediately bolted in the other direction. Naruto chuckled to himself and sat down on what remained of the staircase to his apartment.

"Hmmm maybe we should do on tsunades desk this time…"


End file.
